Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
