i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
