Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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