Do vagina's smell?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
