It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
