I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
too bad you live with your parents still
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
