in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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