It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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