I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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