I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
