can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
