dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Two words: blizzard sex
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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