I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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