i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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