i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
