barbara walters just said penis...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
