I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
