Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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