she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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