dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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