I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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