Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize