walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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