You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
