When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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