remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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