She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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