nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize