if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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