So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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