I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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