Need sex. Gaining weight.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we're making bets on your personal life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
