Pregnant stripper...not hot.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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