I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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