thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
