I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
a search helicopter?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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