honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize