Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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