Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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