The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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