In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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