??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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