My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
