ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
