K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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