If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
