I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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