i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
