am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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