I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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