My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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