Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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