Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i now understand why vodka
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
