Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
