I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
