um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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