OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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