i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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