cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
