yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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