just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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