when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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